Tag Archives: life

5 Happy Things: May 2019

What’s going on in May?

1. Birthday

The Duchess of Sassytown socksI AM OFFICIALLY THE DUCHESS OF SASSYTOWN.

And I got cake. NOM.

I hate having fuss made for birthdays – or Christmas, or any event for that matter – and so birthdays are always something of an ordeal before people get to know me. However, this year was great! I made cake (excellent for diverting attention, and also feeding people) and had a chilled evening in with my partner.

And I had excellent presents – socks! Computer games! No books, thankfully. I already have more than enough books.

(I know, I know, but seriously. I have 30 on my slush pile at work and at least 20 here and I know I always need more but… one of the perils of working in publishing is that you get swamped with books!)

2. Easter eggs!

Yes, it’s a month late…but I did an Easter Egg hunt for my partner, and they just found the last one! It made me laugh a lot. They were all hidden in plain sight, as it were…but it’s obviously a corner they don’t look in too often!

3. Normality

I’m typing this while sitting on the floor, my back against the sofa. My partner’s playing something random, snowy and involving dying of hunger (if you’re not eaten by wolves first…it sounds quite tense.) I’ve got a favourite playlist on, my notebook by my knees, a teacup on the table. It all feels so comforting and quite and normal; like sinking into a warm duvet, and being able to breathe out for the first time in a while.

I’m very much hoping that it leads to some more writing; the ideas are there, but they just haven’t been coming out! Here’s hoping…

4. Speaking of writing…

My Dresden Files fanfic is still rumbling on; it’s actually nearly done with the final story, which is one of my favourites, and I really enjoyed writing. I’m going to leave it all up on Wattpad when it’s done, but the first story (The Envoy) is here, and the current one (Rogue Wizard) is here if you feel you need something extra to read!

5.Sunshine and buttercups

Sunshine on a field of buttercups

5 Happy Things: Some Stats

I’ve been doing 5 Happy Things for two years now!

The idea originally came from my friend at Pastry & Purls, and I’ve done 19 posts over the two years; I missed July, September & November 2017, and February 2018…and that’s it! Some were double month posts, but otherwise – two straight years!

I definitely have trends for the things that make me happy…Happy Things graphs

My “other” includes dating, dancing, hot tubs, house-hunting, Christmas decorating, my Grandma, tidying and languages…

I’ve also noticed, though, that I do ‘big’ posts about a lot of the things that make me happy; crafts, or books, or writing. So I think those areas would be likely to bulk up even more if I looked at wider trends.

5 Happy Things has been a really fun thing to do – and I think it’s good for me, too, as every month it at least makes me think about what I’ve been doing, and what things have made me happy. It extends further than just the one post, too, as I’ll try to collect things during the month; taking pictures of the cats or baking or my walks, or thinking of things that I could add. It’s definitely a mindfulness thing that’s added to my happiness, and it’s also been fun!

Stages of Happiness

I know there are seven stages of grief, but are there equivalent stages of happiness?

Fog on the Thames, september 2018When I first moved to Oxford, it felt like golden bubbles rising in my chest; a happiness that swallowed everything when it exploded, and I could always feel it simmering.

Then an Autumn; partly being on some medication that made everything dark, but partly also everything settling – the knowledge that yes, I was here, and I hadn’t screwed it up immediately – so everything could grow, and settle; but I was also aware of how shallow my roots were, and how small my branches. I was growing, but not yet rooted.

And now?

I feel grey. Disassociated. Not caring, unable to process; I’m putting down roots, seeing just how far they are spreading, but the earth over them feels so shallow. It’s all going to be taken away again, and I’m just waiting for that to happen. Waiting for the hand to lift me out and tell me that I have to start again somewhere else; waiting for the earth around me to scorch. Waiting for another start and another set of memories to live with.

I feel resigned to loss, although I’m not sure anyone ever gets totally used to it; so many things have moved or changed or gone in the last few years that I think it’s all caught up, and I don’t have any expectation of longevity.

But then I don’t think anyone really can, either; everything always changes. So it also seems normal.

Anyway.

I hope there is a next stage of happiness – acceptance? The blending of sheer joy with the cut that says everything does end, and move on, and change. The sweet scent and bitter taste of a memory, because it will only happen once. The knowledge that this is only a life lived once, and we can only live the best one we can.

A Friday Update – April 2019

Still in a bit of a slump at the moment, really! Struggling to get through my home reading, still got writer’s block, absolutely zero motivation, and everything’s a little grey. Nothing that I can put my finger on as a cause, but the anxiety knot hasn’t eased for a week or so. I’m hoping that a day of getting organised this weekend will help.

sheep in a field

Things Wot I Did On My Holidays

For my Easter holidays I went to Norfolk with my family. We stayed in a big cottage. It was sunny. Things wot I did:

Image of Thornham boathouse via Andrews Walks
Image via Andrews Walks

Paddled in the sea.

Took various arty photos.

Napped.

Got drunk on very good white wine.

Didn’t get sunburned despite the beautiful weather.

Started learning Norwegian.

Chased a dog.

Didn’t see any Saxon churches.*

Took over several castles.

Called my partner a wide variety of names, mostly because they stopped me taking over even more castles.

Picked up On Chesil Beach. Read a chapter. Put down On Chesil Beach.

Ate too much, repeatedly.

Discussed microbiology, Nelson’s love life, book covers and the importance of foil, trust law, how to get to Ostia, wine regions, windmills and wind turbines, the Parthians and happy sushi… amongst a variety of other topics.

Went for various walks.

Ate quite a few chocolate eggs.

Overall, a rather nice holiday. Now back at…well, nearly full force, but I think I need some motivation! Back and here, anyhow.

 

*In comparison to last time I was in Norfolk, when I saw seven in one week. They’re apparently quite rare; my opinion after that week was that they’re not rare enough!