I haven’t been doing particularly well with music recently.
I ended up missing two singing lessons in a row; two weeks ago was Ian being busy at my normal time combined with a fun work schedule that meant I couldn’t fit it anywhere else, but this week, I cancelled. I get short of breath when I get anxious and I’d had a really awful Monday; I figured it was probably better to cancel the lesson than spend it not singing properly because I couldn’t breathe and then get even more stressed over it! All fun. I get really annoyed at myself because I know I have to get better, and I’m the only thing holding me back. I need to get more confident, I need to stand up straight and sing out and believe I can do this. It’s just pretty hard when I’m still struggling to believe that anyone would want to hear me, but missing lessons isn’t going to help.
I haven’t really been doing much singing over the last few weeks either. I’ve been pretty busy with work/life, and also haven’t felt confident enough (or un-stressed enough) to be able to wander round the house singing. However, I have been learning the lyrics for Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For, and was able to remember most of them and sing along to the song last time I saw Jay, so that’s a plus in the “memorising lyrics” and “being able to sing in front of someone” departments! The next thing I want to learn as a solo piece is Linger by The Cranberries, and I’m still working on a slightly tweaked version (I can hit the high notes but I’m not confident at the moment, so I drop them an octave) of Oblivion by Bastille.
On another plus side, I’ve had a bit of music to work on. I haven’t had a lot of time to get to the piano, but I’ve managed to scribble a few tunes for Jay to play with, and I’ve been re-listening to some older albums and making mental notes of tunes, effects and lyrics that I like. I now have a little bit more free time so hopefully can start learning piano pieces again, and (even more hopefully) start recording some of them as backgrounds.
So…not much progress, and it feels like I have stood still a lot with it. But hey ho, I want to get moving again, so we’ll see what the next month or two brings.