I’m having a bit of a down day today…it’s ok, I’m not looking for sympathy; I just want to put this here as a counterpoint to the optimistic posts that I usually put up. A bit of reality, I suppose. And it makes me feel better to get it out.
I just had another two rejection emails from an agent (two branches of the same one; children’s and adult). Obviously, it was a no – they’d “read the submissions with interest” but don’t feel passionate enough about the work. Which is fair enough, but doesn’t really help me.
I can write. I know I can. I’ve seen enough shit from other people, I’ve edited enough texts and read enough awful writing to know that I am good. The feedback I’ve had has never been “oh my god that’s awful”; it’s always been little improvements, little suggestions. But I don’t know if they are right – are they just trying to spare my feelings? Do they really think it’s all readable?
And if they’re right and I am right, that I am a good writer (with the proviso that I’m always trying to get better) then the endlss rejections are even more demoralising. There’s nothing I can actually DO, nothing I can work on – I just have to wait for someone to get the “right feeling” and like it enough to take a chance, and I can’t help that at all. And the one publisher who was interested in Greensky, I’ve heard nothing from recently. I know she’s busy, but the radio silence really doesn’t help: I don’t even know if they’re still interested, and if they are, when anything is likely to happen. I knew publishing was a long process, but it’s still frustrating.
So if this batch of agents doesn’t come back with anything, then I’m giving up. I’ll keep writing, of course, and I want to self-publish Madcap Library. But whenever I get the last rejection letter, that’s it for trying to get published at the moment.