You may have noticed that I’ve been a bit quiet – sorry! I’m currently off work for two weeks (well, a week now) as my medication is kicking my butt; I hate being off work but the doctor suggested it as the one stress we could remove, just to see if everything settles down. The medication is working, which is good; I mean, not having feels isn’t great but it’s better than having too many. The problem is that it’s currently letting the weasels have free reign, and I’m having trouble shouting them down constantly. A week of sleep has helped a little (I’m also ridiculously tired, struggling to get out of bed, finding sitting upright hard… all the usual fun) so I’m hoping another week of sleep will help, and then getting back into the routine of work.
I’m pretty much out of options so I’m keeping on this course; I know the first six months are the hardest, and I’m fighting something that’s been entrenching itself over the past fifteen years. The rest of my life stresses have mostly got better and I’ve been able to haul the growing depressions out, so it’s just the roots I’ve got to dig out now! I hope, anyway. Gonna keep going. Gotta keep going. That’s pretty much it.
There are a few rays of light; I had an idea for a game, and as Otter has been creating a simple little detective game, I had a chat to them about the possibilities of actually learning to make it. I’ve also managed to read a little, even if it is books I’ve read before. I’m also managing to Cope With Occasional People, and my foot got sniffed by a very snooty cat, so that’s progress. I’m also being aided in The Fortnight of Rest by Blue Planet 2, shortbread, amazing friends and terrible memes, so that’s all helpful… I haven’t really had the focus for reading or playing computer games, although Otter did turn into a Horrible Goose earlier in the week, which was hilarious. (It’s an amazing game and if you haven’t played it, you should.)
Beyond that – I’m just keeping going, and taking each day as it comes!