Someone suggested that I write about my depression. I pointed out that it’s really hard without sounding cliched – and also unless you’ve been there, you find it hard to understand. It’s also fairly boring for a reader, as there’s only so much plot you can make about someone feeling down.
However, I have a character who was originally in Green Sky & Sparks. When I changed the story, I started it later in time and wrote him out; he now doesn’t get mentioned in it at all. But I wondered what happened to him.
He’s arrogant, self-centred, thoroughly annoying and thinks he knows everything. He’s so much better than everyone else and always knows the answers. He gets yelled at by Catter and then sent away by Anoe before they start a fight, and then the story in Greensky starts after that.
I was thinking about what would happen next. For someone who thinks they are perfect, who is always fighting a losing battle to prove themselves against the world, who depends on their carefully-constructed worldview to maintain their good opinion of themselves…
What would rejection do? What would happen next? How could they learn about themselves without me, as the writer, descending into cliche?
I think I’ve come up with a compromise that I like, and one which isn’t your boring lives-happily-ever-after once he actually becomes a “nice person”. The world doesn’t work like that. And it also lets me explore how depression works, how it affects people, and hopefully how you dig your way out of it.
So it’s plotted out, and I’m going to be writing it on and off – along with everything else, of course!
It’s tentatively titled “Salt Water”.
P.s. I finished and handed in my dissertation. I haven’t quite got used to not having to wrestle with statistics every evening, but I’m sure it will come.