5 Things To Know About Friending Someone With Depression

Relatively random, but something I’ve been thinking about on my walks to work. It’s partly from self-interest, but also interesting for me to remember as I make more friends who are all unique and have their own challenges – which could include mental illnesses! (Or just, y’know, not liking cake. I have to reassess my priorities in that situation.) It applies to any mental illness, I guess, but I can only speak from my own experience…

  1. It’s hard. You’ll want to scream at them. Hell, I have depression and I occasionally want to scream at my friends who have depression. Occasionally I want to scream at myself!
  2. You can’t fix them. This one is the hardest to learn and the most important. You can do everything right. You can be there every time. You can listen and hold and help and be everything you possibly can, and it will never be enough. You are not them. You cannot heal someone else’s wounds. You cannot carry someone else’s burden. You cannot fight their battles for them. You can stand by their side and support them, but it is their fight – and they may lose.
  3. It fucking annoys me, too. Seriously. My head is a complete and utter idiot that’s trying to get me killed. My anxiety is a paranoid, restless whirlpool and my depression is a grey fog. They piss me off every day, so I absolutely get how annoying they are for other people.
  4. It all varies. One minute I’ll be fine. The next, doing the same task is the hardest thing. There are certain things that are harder, yes; if I’m feeling brave or having a good day, I might be absolutely fine with them. There might be trigger things, or might not. Something will be absolutely fine one day, and then awful the next; there isn’t necessarily any consistency.
  5. It’s not all of me. It colours everything; even the good days are reflected in the fact that they could be bad. It touches everything I do. But it’s only one strand of me, and I refuse to let it stop me doing anything.

And overall; it’s worth it. Absolutely, definitely…worth it.

This concludes your random PSA for today!


Author: kate

Kate Coe is an editor, book reviewer and writer of fiction & fantasy. She writes the sparkpunk GreenSky series and blogs at writingandcoe.co.uk. When she's not working, she fills her spare time in between writing with web design, gaming, geeky cross-stitch and DIY (which may or may not involve destroying things). She also reads far fewer books that she would like to, but possibly more than she really has time for.

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