It’s been a bit of an anxiety-filled month for one reason and another, but even with that, I’m still loving work, loving Oxford, and I’ve managed to still be ridiculously social! Even with all the stress, it’s still been fairly easy to come up with five things that have made me happy.
1.Kites and hawks, grass-fields and walking!
I’ve been spending quite a few lunchtimes walking in the fields behind work, exploring and working out where the paths go; I’ve already got my favourite routes, and one of them is across the grass-fields. They’d cut them this week, and while scouting for snacks the kites decided to pick an argument with the hawk, a magpie, the crows, two bunches of seagulls, the hawk (again) and then each other…and I was able to just sit on a gate and watch. The flying’s been fantastic, and it was so windy for a couple of days that they could just hover – I absolutely adore the way kites can fly with nothing but their tails, swooping so effortlessly. It’s been wonderful.
I’ve finally got my own copy of the game and I’ve taken it into work this week to play with my ultra-competitive gaming group. We played on Monday and it was hilarious – the Serious Gamer complained that it was too damn NICE (aka. he only won one game), one person didn’t get on with it (too silly + sushi names), and the other two enjoyed it! So I count that as a success – plus, it’s always fun to collect happy little sushi.
The sheer relief that comes from both being able to be honest about how I’m feeling and having amazing people around me that get it. It’s being able to say to someone, “I’m not coping too well with the noise in the pub, I’m going to have to head off,” and they just give me a nod of understanding; it’s being able to say “I’m a bit shaky today” at work and getting the occasional quiet check-in throughout the day just to make sure I’m ok. It’s having a friend who reassures me I’m not leaving you alone when I’m screaming at the voices in my head, too deep in an anxiety whirl to even know which thoughts are the ones I need or should be listening to. It’s knowing that people around me have my back, and I am both absolutely humbled and so, so grateful for every single one of them.
4.And as a sort-of-similar point; friends in general!
I’ve been blues dancing (which was brilliant fun even if I did run out of energy at the end, and I seriously need some practise – dancing with a partner is a whole new skill!), out for dinner with new people, out for burgers with old friends, out with someone I manage to surprise continuously (sorry, Remy – I’m sure I will manage to tell you everything I can do at some point!) – and I’ve had a couple of fun evenings this week, too. I’m still really enjoying the bonus energy, and I’ve got to do some amazing new things with amazing people in addition to what I’d class as Known Fun Stuff, which on this occasion was watching three entire seasons of Futurama in a wonderfully lazy day. Hey, if it ain’t broke then it doesn’t need fixing!
5.And finally: fog on the river.
It’s been absolutely gorgeous.