I took this week off from everything – well, life and writing – to focus on our house. If you hadn’t gathered, we live in an old pub and we’re currently renovating the entire thing…yeah, it’s long-term. It needs everything doing!
I had all the energy this week. I have no idea where it came from, but I was wheelbarrowing and moving and shovelling and just…able to do things, all day, for five days straight. We got so much done, and it was brilliant.
But…it was also kind of sad. This is what it’s like for normal people? To not have to worry about getting halfway through a task and running out of energy. To not have to pace yourself at a pace that seems glacial, because it’s as fast as you can go. To actually be able to do everything without a second thought and then wake up the next morning and still have energy. To not see every task as overwhelming; to be able to break things down and feel achievement when you get something done, not just the endless progression of more and more things…
I ran out of energy yesterday (Saturday) – I just crashed. Couldn’t hold the wheelbarrow handles. Couldn’t get the shovel into the gravel far enough to get anything more than a few stones. I got the boys to help with that load and then went to sleep – I know myself well enough now to know when I’m beaten, and my body’s just had enough. And that was a reminder of how I normally feel; I don’t have endless energy, and my body (and brain) do just give up. I was expecting it earlier, honestly; I was expecting to be far more limited in what I could do, and to be able to do as much as I have been has been a real blessing.
I’ve really appreciated this week. I’ve loved being able to do stuff; both of the boys have commented on how happy I’ve been, how optimistic and able to plan, how cheerful and full of energy. I’ve loved the changes we’ve been making.
Next week, I’ve got writing and admin and reading to do; I’m going to be sitting on the sofa or sleeping for most of the week! I think it will be a nice rest, but I’m hoping that I will feel better for the week of exercise and that my brain will appreciate it, too.
Updates on the huge stack of in-progress writing starting Monday!